May 18, 2013
I’m in the kitchen when I realize I forgot to serve Mario my special avocado pesto, so as he watches, I crush the avocado slices with a fork, explaining there are very few ingredients as they break down into a smooth paste. I leave him to finish… Later, already in bed, I get up and quickly and purposefully make the rounds of the house to make sure all the doors are locked.
My family is visiting and I just want to make sure I do the sensible thing and secure the house, even though on this mountain top we usually sleep with the doors unlocked and even open in the warm weather. As I pass through the kitchen, I notice the refrigerator is not completely closed and is dark inside. Mario set the container of avocado spread directly beneath the light. I move it down and make sure the door closes completely as I head into the sun room and lock the door we use everyday. I consider testing the door leading out to the hot tub but know that these days it’s always locked. Out to the front door and lastly to the rec room, where I lock the sliding glass door. The room is only faintly lit by some unknown light source. As I step back from the door, how completely awake, energetic and purposeful I feel translates into an elated lack of gravity that wafts me up until my head touches the ceiling. I think—If this was a dream, I would stay up here and not fall. Nothing happens.—This is a dream!
I promptly descend and face the Bay Windows, completely elated, and conscious of needing to dim that feeling so I don’t wake up. I consider trying to fly through the windows, but they aren’t as close as the ceiling, so up I go. I encounter substance with a slight resistance and lose all visuals, but I wait patiently to break through to the night sky. When that doesn’t happen, I calmly wipe the “gray matter” away from my eyes and open them to find myself out in the night sky. It worked! Black, feather-like shadows still extend from the corners of my eyes, but I take care of those by raising my hands before my face in the time honored dream stabilizing tradition. I am now fully embedded in the scene and lower to the ground. I get only a vague sense of a residential area but I clearly see a tall young, light-haired man walking just below me. Without even intending it, I indulge a mischievous impulse to swoop low and fast over him, invisible as an owl, as I emit a deliberately creepy sound. I’m curious to see if he’ll hear the ghostly noise and whether or not he’ll see me. He obviously hears something because he looks up and around, and I feel bad about messing with his head like that. Still, I want to see what happens as I pass my right hand quickly back and forth against the top of his head, mussing up his hair the fond way adults do to children. He seems to see me now, but as we stare at each other, I force myself to look away, remembering the danger of focusing for too long on one person or thing.
Okay, my intent. Before me, I see what look like the remains of a house, or perhaps raw material for construction, and focus on a plain but heavy looking wooden door lying on the ground slightly propped up by some beams. I know James isn’t planning to LD tonight, nevertheless, though the chances of finding him and “waking” him are less than slim, I intend for this door to lead into his kitchen, to actually be the other side of the tree door. All I have to do is open it and walk through, I don’t even need his key. I begin phasing out of the dream.
False Awakening. Back in the house I’m busy “writing” my dream down along the bottom of a wall in a 3D medium, as I inform Mario when he walks by down the hallway. In the end, I take a bag of corn chips and crumble them, intending to form the fragments into letters, but of course that’s impossible…
I have no idea how I end up leaving a building holding a full white trash bag. The area is deserted; it’s after hours. The building is white, one story, a very clean storage facility or warehouse of some kind. As I walk to my car, I realize I’m still dreaming, and that I’ve been lucid for so long, I don’t remember a lot of what has happened. I want to dispose of my trash somewhere appropriate, where no animals can get into it and strew it all over the place. I see an area that looks promising and though I can’t completely cover the bag, I at least put it somewhere that appears designated for trash. Satisfied, I walk quickly over to my blue car and, sharply lucid, pull out my keys, very interested to see what they will look like. It is James’ key, of course, though tonight it is embedded as though in a jewel or tool case and I have to open it up like a pen knife. I know it will work, both on the door and the ignition, because it always works for me. I let myself in and am about to turn on the ignition when I lose the dream, again.
Later in the night, I dream I’m telling Mario, Emily and Stinger about my lucid dream. We’re in the rec room and I demonstrate, “See, if this was a dream, I could float up to the ceiling and stay there” as I jump up and down “but obviously we’re awake.” Gravity feels perfectly real. I leave them behind, and as I walk up the steps of a gazebo, I see Emily following me. She is much older and taller. She tosses a dark teddy bear at me, an old gift of mine she still treasures but no longer wants because she’s growing up. I remember that I really want to take her clothes shopping in the large sprawling building just outside the windows (we are now in a spacious airy white living space several stories above the sidewalk) and I stand before her conscious of needing to get her current measurements. Mario has since joined us and tells me that’s not a clothing store but something else. I’m sure it’s a clothing store. I ask Emily if she wants to go shopping with me so I can buy her some clothes. She replies, “If you want to. You don’t have to. But if you do, you should…” and she begins explaining something to me. I begin losing the dream, but not before I hear her say that when I’m buying clothes for her, I should make sure to pick what I would like to wear, and I replied that I always did.
Dream Notes: My brother, Mario, commented:
I like what you said in the dream, “See, if this was a dream, I could float up to the ceiling and stay there” as I jump up and down “but obviously we’re awake” because it’s a really funny way of showing how we may not really know what’s going on, and it can be flipped around to when we’re awake and think that this can’t be a dream, because if it were we would be able to do something like float to the ceiling, but then it may turn out to be a dream even so, a dream with certain rules which we know as the laws of physics.