Hell or Heaven?

May 28, 2011
I think my Guardian Lord came to me in two “unreal” forms. At one point I’m standing on a porch at night beside a hanging stuffed figure, like something you would see at Halloween—the atmosphere was one of a pseudo-scary holiday, people milling on the porch and out on the streets—but not truly frightening. The face of the figure was clearly fashioned and I was surprised, and yet wasn’t, when it suddenly became animated, turning toward me to say something. I was amazed and yet okay with having a conversation with it. All I clearly remember it saying was, as he regarded the amorphous activity around us, “Would you rather this be hell or heaven?” At once I replied, “Heaven!” and he agreed, “Me too.”

Standing on another porch to the right of the first one, I understood that this “straw man” had been created by God. A Divine force had animated the materials it was constructed of, and I had been meant to encounter it through synchronicity (the Magic Pattern) and the reason it was conscious was because God had “breathed” life into it for a purpose. I was supposed to take “it-him” with me…

A parking lot, a still night, I have to make a quick get away and I have to leave “it-him” lying across the gravel as I go back inside for something… I realize I’ve left my magical stuffed man behind and go back for him, but I get lost in a multistory house where a woman reminiscent of my childhood friend Miriam rather cynically informs me “it-he” was flattened out on the driveway where I abandoned him, and she takes me to where the flat and lifeless form is hanging. I take “it-him” in my arms, look directly at its face and suddenly it shifts, becomes dimensional, conscious, only now his features are those of a white dog as I apologize to it profusely. He’s confused, he doesn’t remember clearly what happened as he asks me, “Did I want to stay?” I assure him he didn’t, that he wanted to come with me. Then he says, “Why did you leave me?” I’m ashamed to admit I forgot about him! I can’t tell him that, I just want to get out of there and take him with me…

Back in that confusing house, I’m asking Miriam if she’s pregnant because she’s touching her belly, and she backs up as if to avoid the question. I can’t remember now if I left “it-him” in the car or in the room where I found him. I go looking for him again and when I don’t see him I firmly tell myself that he’s in the car, that when I look, he’ll be in the car whether or not I left him there or not (inklings of lucidity.) All I know is I can’t leave my magical companion and that I’m appalled I keep losing track of him!

Dream Notes: I’m naturally reminded of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and the scarecrow. I still don’t really know how to think outside the box. Perhaps my Guardian Lord is attempting to train me to do so more often in dreams. Whenever I think of Miriam, I see her coming back from school (4th grade) loaded with books and homework and how stunned I was by how much more detailed and difficult the education she was receiving was compared to mine, and how I was at once glad and distressed that my school life was so much easier. I’m lazy. There’s a part of me that is lazy and still has much to learn. I can’t be with my Guardian Lord if I don’t strive to be lucid 24/7.

Comments and Questions Welcome